Hobbit Zombies!!! You know you wanna join!
- Thread starter GailWho
- Start date
BruceWayne
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- Joined
- Apr 6, 2016
- Messages
- 74
Zombies hit top 100, it's all good!! We're coming for you
Old Farmer Bob
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- Joined
- Dec 19, 2015
- Messages
- 103
Farmer Geddon is gonna plough your field
Ravenlord
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- Aug 23, 2015
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- 1,406
You wouldn't happen to be a Spinal Tap aficionado, would you??!
I thought you of all people might relate to this. Lyrics from Spinal Tap's Sèx Farm:
[FONT="]Workin' on a [/FONT][FONT="]sèx [/FONT][FONT="]farm, tryin' to raise some hard love
Gettin' out my pitch fork, pokin' your hay[/FONT]
[FONT="]Scratchin' in your hen house, sniffin' at your feedbag
Slippin' out your back door, leavin' my spray[/FONT]
[FONT="]Sèx farm woman, I'm gonna mow you down[/FONT]
[FONT="]Sèx [/FONT][FONT="]farm woman, I'll rake and hoe you down[/FONT]
[FONT="]Sèx [/FONT][FONT="]farm woman, don't you see my silo risin' high, high, high?[/FONT]
[FONT="]Workin' on a [/FONT][FONT="]sèx [/FONT][FONT="]farm, hosin' down your barn door
Botherin' your livestock, they know what I need[/FONT]
[FONT="]Workin' up a hot sweat, crouchin' in your pea patch
Plowin' through your bean field, plantin' my seed[/FONT]
[FONT="]Sèx [/FONT][FONT="]farm woman, I'll be your hired hand[/FONT]
[FONT="]Sèx [/FONT][FONT="]farm woman, I'll let my offer stand[/FONT]
[FONT="]Sèx [/FONT][FONT="]farm woman, don't you hear my tractor rumblin' by, by, by?[/FONT]
Old Farmer Bob
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- Dec 19, 2015
- Messages
- 103
Old Farmer Bob
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- Dec 19, 2015
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- 103
Damn it really did ***** out the s word
GailWho
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- Jun 26, 2015
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- 1,014
I prefer Stonehenge song...
In ancient times,
Hundreds of years before the dawn of history
Lived a strange race of people, the Druids
No one knows who they were or what they were doing
But their legacy remains
Hewn into the living rock, of Stonehenge
Stonehenge! Where the demons dwell
Where the banshees live and they do live well
Stonehenge! Where a man's a man
And the children dance to the Pipes of Pan
Hey!
Stonehenge! 'Tis a magic place
Where the moon doth rise with a dragon's face
Stonehenge! Where the virgins lie
And the prayers of devils fill the midnight sky
And you my love, won't you take my hand?
We'll go back in time to that mystic land
Where the dew drops cry and the cats meow
I will take you there, I will show you how
In ancient times,
Hundreds of years before the dawn of history
Lived a strange race of people, the Druids
No one knows who they were or what they were doing
But their legacy remains
Hewn into the living rock, of Stonehenge
Stonehenge! Where the demons dwell
Where the banshees live and they do live well
Stonehenge! Where a man's a man
And the children dance to the Pipes of Pan
Hey!
Stonehenge! 'Tis a magic place
Where the moon doth rise with a dragon's face
Stonehenge! Where the virgins lie
And the prayers of devils fill the midnight sky
And you my love, won't you take my hand?
We'll go back in time to that mystic land
Where the dew drops cry and the cats meow
I will take you there, I will show you how
BV123
Approved user
- Joined
- May 11, 2015
- Messages
- 601
Ode to a Swiss cow
By Andrew Evans
Your kind face makes me stop,
Your eyelashes so arresting
That from my bike, I hop.
Rip clumps of grass in offering.
You inquire with a wiggly nose
With careful lips you chomp
On lavender and wild rose
Then take a perfumed dump.
The slanted fields of Switzerland
Demand a steady foot.
How I envy how you stand
With your sturdy mountain hooves.
The call of your bell makes me smile
A happy clang around your neck.
A song that says, “Come stay awhile,
Slow down, sit, take a rest.”
So kneeling in the grass I shudder,
In quiet awe of your pulsing udder,
Warm bottle to the calves you mudder,
A jackpot filled with rich Swiss Butter.
You were the first Swiss bank account.
Happy farmers investing in your ilk.
Depositing hay, flowers, water and sun
Withdrawing drops of pure white milk.
I wonder where your bounty ends—
In heavy rounds of gold-crust Gruyère,
In swirling strings of the finest fondue,
The magic melt of a chocolate bar
The satisfying plop of coffee cream,
Grand finale to my dairy dream?
Of all the cows in all the world
Thou art surely the most placid
Neither Scottish hairy nor Texas Longhorn,
And thy milk never turns acrid.
With thee I’d happily spend an afternoon.
Watching clouds and whistling carefree tunes,
When I leave at dusk, it will be too soon.
The time when cows jump over the moon.
And so,
Silent beast beneath a white-crossed banner,
Above all, I shall remember your manner:
Unflinching, unswayed, unbothered and cooth.
Helvetia’s animal standard of truth.
Oh, humble creature of this mighty mountain land!
You are not a lion, a bear, or some noble stag.
But should I ever be crowned king of Switzerland,
Without question, I’d put a cow on the flag!
By Andrew Evans
Your kind face makes me stop,
Your eyelashes so arresting
That from my bike, I hop.
Rip clumps of grass in offering.
You inquire with a wiggly nose
With careful lips you chomp
On lavender and wild rose
Then take a perfumed dump.
The slanted fields of Switzerland
Demand a steady foot.
How I envy how you stand
With your sturdy mountain hooves.
The call of your bell makes me smile
A happy clang around your neck.
A song that says, “Come stay awhile,
Slow down, sit, take a rest.”
So kneeling in the grass I shudder,
In quiet awe of your pulsing udder,
Warm bottle to the calves you mudder,
A jackpot filled with rich Swiss Butter.
You were the first Swiss bank account.
Happy farmers investing in your ilk.
Depositing hay, flowers, water and sun
Withdrawing drops of pure white milk.
I wonder where your bounty ends—
In heavy rounds of gold-crust Gruyère,
In swirling strings of the finest fondue,
The magic melt of a chocolate bar
The satisfying plop of coffee cream,
Grand finale to my dairy dream?
Of all the cows in all the world
Thou art surely the most placid
Neither Scottish hairy nor Texas Longhorn,
And thy milk never turns acrid.
With thee I’d happily spend an afternoon.
Watching clouds and whistling carefree tunes,
When I leave at dusk, it will be too soon.
The time when cows jump over the moon.
And so,
Silent beast beneath a white-crossed banner,
Above all, I shall remember your manner:
Unflinching, unswayed, unbothered and cooth.
Helvetia’s animal standard of truth.
Oh, humble creature of this mighty mountain land!
You are not a lion, a bear, or some noble stag.
But should I ever be crowned king of Switzerland,
Without question, I’d put a cow on the flag!
Old Farmer Bob
Approved user
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2015
- Messages
- 103
Lol less poetry o prize bull and more calf producing. The farm shop got leather quotas to meet 
Brand Marrow
Approved user
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2016
- Messages
- 1,117
Now our welsh players can post a poem about sheep.....
Old Farmer Bob
Approved user
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2015
- Messages
- 103
With the filters it will look like this
(first verse only reproduced)
****** ******* *******
****** ***** *******
**** ***** ****** *****
***** ***** ** Sheep
(first verse only reproduced)
****** ******* *******
****** ***** *******
**** ***** ****** *****
***** ***** ** Sheep
Brand Marrow
Approved user
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2016
- Messages
- 1,117
Ode to a Welsh Sheep
By Anonymous
Your kind face makes me stop,
Your eyelashes so arresting
That from my bike, I hop.
Rip clumps of grass in offering.
You inquire with a wiggly nose
With careful lips you chomp
On lavender and wild rose
Then take a perfumed dump.
The slanted cliffs of Llanfairpwllgwyngyll
Demand a steady foot.
How I love it when you stand fast
With your sturdy mountain hooves.
By Anonymous
Your kind face makes me stop,
Your eyelashes so arresting
That from my bike, I hop.
Rip clumps of grass in offering.
You inquire with a wiggly nose
With careful lips you chomp
On lavender and wild rose
Then take a perfumed dump.
The slanted cliffs of Llanfairpwllgwyngyll
Demand a steady foot.
How I love it when you stand fast
With your sturdy mountain hooves.
