What I do coach my allies, is to have a punish system for them, if they don't follow the orders. We have a set rules - nothing fancy, just the minimum to do organized attacks and the alliance in place. Everyone that don't follow follows the rules for once is warned and given a yellow card. Also, not following the rules will exclude them from 1 war for each yellow card.
I have some experienced gays that are dam good in my alliance, and also have some new members that still don't understand the game mechanics. Every one of them want to be in WW, this should be your primary focus, to have the people that are engaged with the alliance and willing to participate in the WW. Try to create a core of people in your alliance - I am the leader and I am well counseled by 4 great co-leaders. Despite the co-leaders try to engage the remaining members. If you have a group of 10/15 people engaged in the alliance and identified with the rules, the alliance runs almost by itself. Also if they are engaged, punishing them for not following the rules/orders and excluding them from war will make them think twice - at least it does in my alliance. If you know the leader for so long, personally talk to him and explain him what is going on. Also in my alliance after having 3 warning the member is banned from the alliance. From times to times I make a "ban session" of inactive and non-contributor/non-rule-follower users. This also makes your point to your allies, that you are serous about the rules.
I can tell you the story of my alliance, which used to be like yours. I entered this alliance as soon as I able to join an alliance, and I like the relaxed way of its members, as well as the fact we were always at war. After a year in the alliance, and growing so much with them - the leader was a really nice guy, as well as the co-leaders which were their friend - I started to realize that we were constantly make the same mistakes. We entered in a down spiral of losing wars after wars, even ones that seemed easy. So I started to dig in to try to understand what could be going wrong with the alliance and to try to help get it better. I started by looking at their layout , and the layouts of our strongest guys were horrible. I tried to make them understand that, but they preferred the aesthetic part of the layout, then it to be effective... So I realized this was a lost cause, and tried to look at their attacks... Once again they attack horribly... I asked why they use every kind of troop they have available, including raider in WW and Mortars. Also they used all the available, one of each... The reply "I like to use all the tactics, and the animation of troop mortars is awesome!". Apart from that, and to not over-complicate the WW we had the mirror match in WW - it is not good but it was what we had. Despite that we had one member that was one of our top 3, that didn't attacked its mirror most of the time. He was Industrial/Global but was constantly attacking easy bases of lower ages for the 5 starts... I asked him why, and the answer was "I only perform an attack that I am sure I will give 5*!". I was astonished by the level of disorganization in the alliance. Ok, it was supposed to be a relaxed alliance, for casual players and of friendly people, but common... They could take do a bit more efforts, or maybe it was me that was getting to serious with the game. In the meanwhile I was promoted to co-leader, and two great guys joined. We won some wars because they were really strong and gave us a chance for winning. Then as we got some more glory we started t face strong opponents again, and once everyone keep with the same behavior and did not evolved, we entered again in losing spiral. I think we lost 10/15 wars in a row, and some of them were winnable if the players engaged a little more and tried to learn how to attack, how to build a good war base and had a system of war opponent matching different from the one that we had. Also the aim of the leader was to have 50 people in the alliance, despite the quality of the players. So people started to get bored of losing, some of them left and and others that were active in the chat, were not active anymore. One day, all of a sudden, the leader left and handed over the alliance to me - up today I still don't know what happened. A few hours later their friends also left, and I was stuck in the alliance with some of the members. I though of leaving the alliance and search for a new one, but the other members convinced me of staying and to give it a shot. I said that we could try, but several thing had to change, and so I wrote a set of rules for the alliance. All members agreed, we took 2 weeks to put the things running before we started to war. We advised the newer players to review their bases, teach them how to attack better, encouraged the watching replays, and so on. After 3/4 months here we are, winning back to back wars. We still haven't lost a war since the reformulation of the alliance, and think we have more or less 20 in a row, people are happy with the way the things are, we are still improving some rules, we have a member from a top 100 alliance that joined and brought new ideas, and so on.
So as you can see, my former alliance has some very common points with yours. For me the only way to keep order in the house if to apply rules, and to make the allies follow them. Surround you by trustworthy people, that also can help - you can't do everything alone. Keep the allies happy, communicate with them, give them ideas - have a chat tool like WhatsApp for that - present them with new layouts and other game stuff. I realized that a lot of players don't search the net for game stuff until they reach higher ages. Show them what the game has to offer in higher ages, so they get the feel to keep playing and to do the things right. Explain them why they should not take raiders to war. Explain why to not use saboteur or mortars. If they still make the same mistakes over and over again, take them out from war as punishment, for some wars, then bring him back. What is the point of having Industrial/Global in WW to attack Gunpowder/Medieval? They just add weight for nothing in war, because most likely their base is wiped out and they contribute to the attacking, so no use in having them in the lineup. Make them realize that.
I hope that my story and very very long text is of some help to you. Good luck!
. I tried my best to give directions, in feminine ways lol (we all know women are easily understood eh? 
), but these guys just couldn't listen.
I'm not allowed to kick anyone either because he will demote me (currently as Co-Leader). What should I do? I mean I know matchmaking is a beeeech, but uh well there would be 1 or 2 chances we would get a good one anyway?! And they don't want to take a chance on it.
For a historical game it's comical that elephants with bows and arrows can destroy modern defences. But hey if it's cheaper to sell an outdated unit that makes no historical relevance then what game am I playing? Maybe we should have baby dragons oh and witches, they are so medieval.
